isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
