This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
your room smells of hookers.
And success
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
