I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
