thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
