grandma shit on top of the toilet
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
