Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Farmville is her only friend.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
