All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
BRING THE BAGELS
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
