I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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