She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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