I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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