Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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