that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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