For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
