dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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