You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize