i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
