that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
