please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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