remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
