Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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