I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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