It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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