thus making me awesome and them whores
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
