Don't you send me to vm
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
