I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
