Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
