And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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