they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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