if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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