So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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