Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
