Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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