You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
