i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
