Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Someone signed my nipple.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
