youre lurking in front of me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
