Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
