it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
