No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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