maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
