i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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