Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I faked an abortion last night.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
