Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
