in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
