just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize