I skipped work to stalk him.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
