every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
