I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
