My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
