TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
