I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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