so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
