I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Congratulations! We have a period
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
