you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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