This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
