At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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