I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just forgot I was standing up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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