i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
