evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
