You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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