I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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